Chicken Nuggets

What happens when you mix a 13 year old, a 43 year old, and Garage Band?  You end up with Chicken Nuggets of course.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Muppet Mediocrity

Today while driving in subzero temperatures and my poofy gloves on, I came to the realization of why the Muppets have alway been second class citizens and have never risen to the ranks of CEO, marketing executive, etc. but have instead been limited to chefs, drummers, tree frogs, big birds, garbage pail occupants, and cookie consumers. It’s because of their big poofy fingers and lack of a pinky fingers.  In this day and age of information technology, they simply don’t have the means to use a computer keyboard, and thus have been held back from the information necessary to move forward.  I think it’s time that Apple or Microsoft invent an operating system that caters to the fat-fingered pinkyless consumer.  Muppets unite!

High School 1959 vs. 2009

(Thanks Kim)

Scenario 1
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.
1959 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2009 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1959 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2009 – Police called and SWAT team arrives — they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1959 – Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2009 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1959 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2009 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1959 Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2009 The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6
Pedro fails high school English.
1959 Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2009 Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher.  English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1959 – Ants die.
2009 ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents — and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1959 – In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2009 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.  Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

World Of Goo!

I’ve gotten a little side-tracked… my girlfriend’s son introduced me to “World Of Goo“.  I love these types of puzzle games (I reviewed LineRider earlier).  This one is exceptionally well done because of the “Physics Engine” and Artwork.  Basically you build structures out of “Goo” and try to reach a goal.  I’m supposed to be learning Ruby/Rails this week… this derailed me for about a day… oops!

Applebee’s (There She Blows!)

For Christmas I received a gift certificate for Applebee’s.  I hadn’t been there for several years, because the last time we were there we all got “colon blow’ incredibly bad.  So… thinking it was just a one time experience, we went back there today.  I ordered the appetizer-trio.  Within 5 minutes of leaving the restaurant, I had that uncomfortable growling in my lower intestine.  I knew I was in trouble… still 10 more minutes to the house.  Well, I held off the attack and made it home.  Did you ever notice that the urgency of the situation logarithmically increases as the distance to the house decreases?  I am now convinced there is something wrong with the food at Applebee’s.  A quick search on Google revealed I’m not alone.  Read this halarious review:

http://www.yelp.com/biz/applebees-san-diego-3#hrid:BQ3rhTTy33GorReKQkO_cg

Has anyone else experienced this?